The subject of children, euthanasia of pets, and death is a tricky one. The only angle I can come from is that of a veterinarian, having not had children myself nor training in therapy as pertains to little people. This article just touches on what I’ve seen and experience, in hopes that it will help you to decide how to handle the idea with your little one.
I have had children present many times and in many circumstances with euthanasia. I have been thoroughly impressed by how well children handle euthanasia and death. Kids have more depth to them than we realize, and more resilience as well. Most have been grateful to be included in such a monumentous time, the death of a pet that has been as close to them as any sibling- and sometimes more dear.
It should start with a conversation, letting kids know that the pet is ill and preparing them for what’s to come. There are some great kids books out there that help young people understand death, and what it means. Letting a young person experience these emotions are helpful for preparing to deal with them later in life, especially when they watch how we model grief and sorrow, not to mention duty- doing the right thing even when it hurts our hearts so much.
After that prep work is done, most children will offer up themselves that they feel it’s time to let the pet go. Every child is different however. Some kids with special needs that have a really special attachment to a pet need more time, and more explanation. For those children, it is best to speak to the people who help you with their care- their pediatrician and so forth- who can help guide you on how to navigate.
I find that children do very well when included. Some parents have the children involved in just helping the pet to fall asleep after sedation is given. Some allow for all. Some only allow the child to say goodbye and then leave with a trusted adult before anything happens at all. You know your child better than anyone, and that is absolutely your choice. For kids who are included, I find they stay the calmest when told what is happening (something I am comfortable doing.) Also giving them a role helps too- such as feeding the treats as the pet gets the sedation shot. Since the sedation is pretty gentle and gives a good 10-20 minutes (dogs) or 5-10 (cats) to fall asleep, it is a gradual thing that allows for lots of tears and words of goodbye. The second part is gentle and almost unnoticeable. I think the slow transition is the time people need to really come to terms with what is happening.
I’m sure there are a lot of resources out there to read ahead of time. If you have children and need accomodation for them in some way, just let me know and I’m happy to work with you to make it as peaceful and comfortable as possible.